nationalism

I used to be ashamed of being Filipino.  Now, I still am a bit, I think.  But not as much as before.

I think it's growing up in a country where all you hear about other places are the good things, and all you read/see/hear about your own country are the bad things.  Where the news you see everyday shows only bad news, and none that ever show the good side.  At least, this was when I was growing up.

It took at least 6 years of living away from my country for me to see the light.  I saw how the everywhere else was pretty much the same and that I should be proud of who I am and where I come from.

It's a difficult road coming to this, and I know there's still more to come that's not easy. 

Part of me wants to go back to what I liked doing before - organizing community activities for the betterment of society, helping out, etc.  But here, I balk at the idea, and go back into thinking why? how?  what's in it for me?

It sucks that I go through this.  I guess this is another rambling note from a misguided soul.